The Golden Calf

Is there such a thing as knowing too much about someone? Does familiarity truly breed contempt?
I have always had a bit of a struggle with judgment. Now don't get me wrong, im not the type of person who wil pass opinions as fact. Im certainly not the type to harbor ill will or hold grudges either. What i suppose i mean is, that though i find myself in the rhelm of forward thinkers, i still hold certain 'thruths' for myself and my interactions. Some of these truths are based on my moral standing, some on my ethics, and the lot im least proud of, my ignorance and lack of understanding. Now one particular thing that i feel very strongly about is the usage of drugs and alcohol. I see them as an unnecessary faction of existence. I see their use as a crutch for the weak of heart. A bandaid on the ache of the day. Or even a cheatsheet of sorts for the socially inept. I am fully aware that this is a highly unpopular opinion. I am not innocent. In fact, i am a repeat offender. I'll just say that I'm a friend of Bill. If you know, you know. If you don't, kindly read on. I as an individual tend to gravitate towards strong people. I choose to interact with those who i respect. I seek kinship from only those who i see as enlightened, and wise. Proud people. People i wish to emulate. After all, association brings upon assimilation.  So what does one do when one of these chosen brethren shows a side that i am not particularly fond of? More specifically, when someone to whom I've lended the utmost respect and adoration informs me of fault i had not yet been privy to, does that no longer entitle them to my aforementioned adoration?!  Are they still not kind? Are they still not wise? Do they still not love me just the same as they did before? The answers are yes yes and of course. Yet why then do i find it harder to see them in the glowing light of yesterday? From before this unhappy news befell my wounded ears. Should I allow such a trivial thing to degrade the purity of my caring? Ummm i think not. Logically i know that no man is a golden calf to be haplessly respected. So why the disappointment when I'm simply reminded of their humanity? Am i so daft as to expect perfection or am i simply caught off guard when those i care for are not quite what I'd thought them to be... Again, does it matter?  No. They are still just as strong, wise, kind, and loving. And i am still just an enthralled...  just maybe a tad more cautious than i once was. After all is said and done, i believe that the assimilation bit is what gets me. I mean, if they can be great but broken, and my association will inevitably lead to my adaptation of their traits both positive and negative, where does one draw the line of acceptability? Is there a fucking line? I'm beginning not to think so. Maybe my truths are all just folly. Maybe life is comprised not of black and white, but shades of gray...  and oh how colorful gray can be...

Occupational Hazard

1) We are The People. 2)We are united... But are we? In every event involving proud, passionate people there will be volatile interaction. Where voices strive to be heard will there not always be few who shout louder than their comrades? Of course there will be! We are strong as individuals and as a unit standing in Solidarity we have the potential to be unstoppable. That is if we can get out of our own way. I am now, and have always been, and observer. And what i see at this juncture in our occupation is trouble. This is no longer a movement about the banks, or money in government. Although we still strive for change in these areas we have come to a precipice far larger and greater than just that. I believe that the Occupy Movement is one  capable of being all inclusive of any and every issue that has the capability to enhance our way of life as a world, not city, county, state or country, but world. Where one individual may place weight with labor another may place weight with gender inequality. Where one cries at the thought of war another may cry at the thought of animals being poorly treated. No one issue holds more value, or higher stature than the next. These are all problems of the masses. And we folks, are the masses. This trouble that i speak of lies within two houses; The house of ego and the house of diplomacy. Though i say two houses i really feel that they are one in the same. We are a passionate and proud lot. We are warriors in a new time forging forth for the betterment of our world and dammit we want to be heard now! But who of us are ready to listen? who of  us are ready to open our hearts to those we may see as difficult and love them into a new way of being? Im sure all will say "I" but i have seen that fewer will be ready to act. We as people stating loudly that  we are here to forge a new way seem to have difficulty letting go of the old way ourselves. When we see our brethren falter with either their behavior or their method should we not love him more for his fault? Should we not strive harder to show him the new way? Should he be abandoned? Though our ego may tell us that our rightness in the matter hold more bearing, should not our hearts remind us that we all make mistakes? I know that those who shout with anger at the misguided would beg forgiveness if the tables were turned. But our egos push and shove and devalue the unpopular insight or crass nature of another when offended. When we are the offending party we always seem to be a bit less slighted do we not? An eye for an eye leaves us both blind. If we stand to be the new world, if we strive to live a new way then we must open ourselves to forgiveness. We must demonstrate the values that we preach. We must let go the past and hold no grudges. If one cannot be spoken to in the correct manner then the speech will not be heard. In this occurrence i feel that it not be the fault of the ears, but the fault of the mouths. In order to speak rightly we must place aside our person. I as Davina have no business addressing You as Bill if we stand for unified cause. We must lay to rest our vendetta and address one another as one Occupier in Solidarity for a unified cause to another of the same beast. Until we do that folks, until we learn to live and breath the diplomacy we beg of our counterparts, we will continue to waver. We will continue to bicker like children. We will continue to weaken ourselves..... so cut the shit and stand together already!!! We is always bigger than Me. So let us act Our size.

how quickly we forget...

oh how quickly we loose ourselves in routine. we grow complacent and tired. we get cranky, we complain. we silly humans allow the jonses to tell us what to buy, the opposite sex to tell us how to feel about sexuality and/or sexyness, and our mirrors to dictate what we see in ourselves. we spend our days looking forward instead of around us. we miss the beauty of the day by distracting ourselves with tomorrow.  but what happens if there is no tomorrow? if you knew that this day would be your last what would you do? who would you call? who would you make love to? whos face would you see when you closed your eyes for the last time? would you stare up at the clouds, or wander the beach? would you wander the park with your dog or have one last dinner with your family? its a double edged sward the concept of knowing we are going to go.... i suppose the moral of this musing is this, do not be afraid. start a conversation with the hot guy at the coffee shop. ask the pretty girl for her number. play fetch with your dog. smoke. tell everyone you love them and mean it. forgive those who have wronged  you. apologize to those you have harmed. laugh. live each day as the simple blessing it be. just be. live each day with a pure heart, and a tenderness of soul. be compassionate. i may or may not know you, we may never meet or we may see each other often, i may never know your name who you are or what youre all about, but i love you. please, i beg you live before you cant.