Lost

Things happen in life that you don't expect. People dart in and out of your cast of characters. Plot lines change. The beautifully tangential nature of merely existing rarely ceases to amaze. But when one finds herself at a crossroads, unsure and alone, how does she choose? Now obviously alone is a relative term. Technically, I'm not lost on an island miles away from civilization. But in the core of my heart there currently lays a gap. Not a void. Saying that I am void is inferring that something is missing. Its not. I feel now, more than ever before, a wholeness. A oneness. My time is occupied happily. I love and am loved. I am of service. Yet here sits my gap. Standing before me is a vast valley. Not just two or three paths lay wait, but thousands. I'm sure that some karmic force helps to ensure particular pairings. The catalysts in life that assist in the propelling forward of my tale. But the rest is left to me. I've spent many a long and strenuous hour attempting to avoid these choices. Placating my childish whimsy has served me well thus far. There are hundreds of fantastical stories, memories; the things that fill the pages of the biography I'm writing in my heart. Honestly, I wouldn't trade a one of them! But alas, their time is ending. No longer are days spent idled, waiting to begin. Before me lay choices. The choices that will determine the rest of my days. This is an ominous task, the deciding. Part of me, the child, wants to glide blissfully along certain that all will be well despite my efforts.(Or more honestly, my lack there of.) While the other part of me, the prideful adolescent vying for grownuphood, knows that the work must be done to ensure that my future is one worth striving towards.... There are great tasks before me. Exciting, terrifying, brilliant tasks. Through the fog of confusion I beg little of the powers that be. I pray for strength. The strength to face the tough choices with my boots on, and stomp them, ever so gently away. I pray for clarity. The ability to discern the righteous path from the path of ego and pride. Further still, I pray for peace. I hope to be sitting on a porch one day, surrounded with life's blessings, and to be filled with a surety, a contentment, a knowing that the choice I've made were the right ones .... Wish me luck! I'm gonna need it.