You Cant Always Get What You Want...

But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. Now aint that some shit?! what type of cruel world is this where i dont always get my way?! i mean me, of all people! dont you know who i am?! entitlement is a strange beast. it can doop you into believing that you deserve something more than you do. are worthy of a life far better than the one youve got. and on rare occasion even convince you that the universe is dead wrong for not giving it to you. but why? why dont i get to be the master and commander of my ship of prosperity? or do i? ive been thinking with weighted soul about the simple facts of life as of late. the strange laws that seem to govern us. the strange feelings that move us. the things we truly believe we want and do not acquire... i was beginning to delve into a place of darkness thinking about how different my life could be if i only got to be the boss.... then it dawned on me, if i were the boss this ship would have capsized long long ago... theres a very wise woman i knew once who used to say that every step we take in life is simply one more stone on the path to where we are truly supposed to be. and for a long time i thought i understood what she meant, i thought she was telling me that even when i fell upon unsure footing, that my desiny was written and the universe would make sure i would still reach my proper destination. but now, im beginning to see things a bit clearer. now i believe her words to imply that these steps, even the unsure or misjudged ones are the destination. and that the place im supposed to be is here, now.and though i may be able to steer this vesil of mine in a particular direction, i am only just a speck in this journey. my path may be great or small; my choices brave or ripe with cowardice. but i did not manifest these choices, someone far wiser and greater than myself has laid before me an opportunity to grow, to learn, to love, to eat, to laugh, to fuck, to live. and if me in all my shortsighted genius were the one manifesting this tale, it would be bleak, for i am only able to see so much.... thank god i have faith. faith in the awesomeness of the path maker, that i be afforded the ability to choose between so many a frenzied dilemma. because me bein the boss doesnt work, sometimes like all people i cant see the forest for the trees, but boy am i glad that theres someone out there in the big wide open making sure i stay in check....making sure im jolted back to reality when i need it, and thank god making sure i can stand far back enough to see the forest; its beautiful that forest.... and i would have missed it all staring at this one tree had i not been so lucky. i dont always get exactly what i think i want, but then again, if i did, my life would probably suck ;)